How are the children?
I recently read an excerpt from a sermon by Rev. Patrick O’Neill that highlights a traditional greeting of the Maasi people.
“How are the children?”
“All the children are well.”
Rev. O’Neill observes that in this tradition even those who do not have children are greeted in this way, because it is the responsibility of the entire community to create an environment in which all the children can thrive.
Kids, adrift. (Metaphorically.)
It’s not unusual for me to ask a friend, “How are the kids?” But, when I do, I know for a fact that my friend has kids. And my friend knows I mean how are their specific kids—not all the kids in the community. And, really, what I mean is “How are you doing as a parent? Are you worried to death? Are you in awe of the thoughts and observations these little people have? Are you exhausted? Are you still chuckling at something they said the other day? Do you feel like you’re not living up to your own expectations? Me too. Same. All of it.”
Parenting is a big job. Too big for one or two people. It literally does take a village—the whole community—to support all the children in the way that they need.
Imagine if all the children were well. All the children would have enough food, water, clean air, safe homes. All the children would have adults who love them, schools and childcares that are well-funded enough that someone notices when something is not right. All the kids would have access to health care, mental health care, a dentist. All the kids would lead safe, secure, predictable lives with mealtimes, bedtimes, play times that work for their families. All the children would have faith that the adults in their lives keep them safe—now and into the future. The kids would believe the adults will do what they need to do to protect the planet we live on. All the children would have faith in a bright future for themselves, their friends, and their future children.
Parents make many sacrifices for their own children, but it’s not enough. What are we all willing to sacrifice so that all our children can be well? What are we willing to do to teach them to work together for the greater good?
It takes all of us to get vaccinated, wear a mask, invest in improved ventilation in schools to keep kids save from disease. It takes all of us to build anti-racist communities to keep our Black and brown children safe, well, and full of hope for the future. It takes all of us to make our schools, movie theaters, grocery stores safe for children.
We are all responsible for the adults the children turn into. Not just their parents. All of us. Through the values and culture we pass on, the people we vote for, and the way we live our lives. Teach the children to take care of each other. To live in community. To love each other. To ask for help when the world seems dark.
The shooter was our kid too.