Juneteenth

I'm sitting in the lobby of a grand hotel during a break from the meeting I’m attending. I start imagining how productive I might be in this very lobby. I never considered how many nooks and crannies of an old hotel lobby could be ideal for writing. Instead of writing, I text my friend—we should do our next writing retreat here!  

Pretty sure whatever I wrote right there would be brilliant

There is a group of flight attendants on one of the couches, surrounded by remarkably small and efficient luggage. My colleague from Vermont is sitting with her laptop, apparently catching up on email. There's a Black man on couch by the door, headphones in, looking at his phone. I'm sort of reading my book, sort of people watching, and sort of texting my friend.   

One of the front desk clerks comes from behind the desk and approaches the man by the door. "Excuse me sir, you'll need to go. You can't stay here. This isn't one of our sleeping areas." He's clearly not asleep. He makes his case, and she returns to her post with a reminder to the man not to sleep. I realize I'm staring when he makes eye-contact with me. I silently mouth, "I'm sorry." He replies, less quietly, "That was some bullshit." Yes. And he leaves.  

I text my friend. Nvm about this hotel.  

When we return to the meeting room, I find the woman from Vermont. "Did you see that woman tell that man he can't sleep there, even though he was awake." She did. "That was some racist bullshit, right?" 

"I don't know,” she said. “I wondered that. But then I thought, everyone else really looked like they were working or traveling. I don't know. I guess you're right. I'm just making excuses." 

I appreciated her thoughtfulness, and her comment made me think about that instinct to make excuses, and give the benefit of the doubt. I think about all the times I have described an offensive or discriminatory experience and been told, “Oh, I’m sure they didn’t mean it that way!”  

I’m all for assuming the best of people, but when is the benefit of the doubt a privilege we grant more readily to white people than to people of color experiencing or describing experiences of racism? We agree that racism is terrible. So terrible that we can be reluctant to suggest that someone might be acting in a racist way. Too often, it is easiest to empathize with the person being accused of racism and make excuses or assume their intentions have been misunderstood. This benefit of the doubt is unearned privilege.  

Sunday is Juneteenth, a recognition and celebration of the day that enslaved people in Texas finally learned that they were free—two years after the Emancipation Proclamation freed all the slaves in the confederacy. Had there been any doubt? Sure. They were still fighting the Civil War. But, really, not that much doubt. Every free person knew about the president’s proclamation, but no one took action to free others. In that time of uncertainty, who got the privilege of the benefit of the doubt? Not the people who continued to be enslaved while waiting two more years for the US Army to come and enforce the Emancipation Proclamation.  

Do you think this might result in distrust? Distrust strong enough to pass through generations? The legacy of slavery, passed down through (not that many) generations, and the stories we see of people of color being killed in hate crimes or by police officers, reinforced with racism experienced today, can change the way a person sees the world—in different ways for different people.  

There are many ways to celebrate Juneteenth in our communities, but this year, I invite you to also spend a moment considering to whom you give the privilege of the benefit of the doubt. When you hear about someone having been treated differently, listen to the story. Be curious about their experience and the lens through which they see the world. Don’t be quick to assume the offender “didn’t mean it that way.” Listen to the impact the experience has had on the person who was harmed and seek to understand that pain.  

Juneteenth is a celebration of freedom. A celebration of progress. But the struggle is not over.